Yoo can biggify. Or not.
Wednesday, December 09, 2009
Friday, December 04, 2009
The Vet Who Saved Krissmiss
Well, it wuzn't such a good day today cuz win I ferst waked up, one of my eyes was glooed shut. At ferst I thot it was a praktikul joke that my big bruther Mao and Tripper plade on me, but it terns owt it wuzn't a joke I got sik in my eyes. Probly cuz my snots wint into my eyes win I sneezed a billyun times this week.
Wich ment I had to go to see my frends at Bullevard Pet Hospitul. That part was okay; they treet me like a rok star and always comment on my kyoot owtfits. But I did git torcherd. And it wint beyond just having the ice cold thing shuvved up my booty. (ATTN YUNG KITTINS: yoo mite not wunt to reed further.)
But let me start at the beginning. I just kept gitting sikker and sikker and sneezier and sneezier this week, so finely the FL and Mr TF deesided to take me to see the man in the bloo kote hoo cood make me all better. One of my eyes was VARY infekted wich ment we coodn't take pikchers for my Krissmiss card, and thare are hundreds of cats all over the werld wayting for the man in the bloo shorts to bring him thare Skeezix Krissmiss cards, so the sichuation is whut they call DIRE. It looked like thare mite not be Krissmiss cards going out this yeer, or WERSE, they mite have to skweeze Tripper into my kyoot costoom and he wood just bust owt all the seems cuz he's ginormuss.
So we wint to see the v-e-t. I deesided to ware my pet cam and do a foto essay. I fownd my pet cam this morning by the frunt door ware that stoopid Tripper had just dropt it so it cood be stept on and deestroyed. He has no respekt fur purrsunul property.
Heer is the rush howr traffik on the way to see my frends at Bullevard Pet Hospitul. Traffik is vary byootiful but I don't know why it's called rush howr becuz nobuddy seemed to be rushing. I just looked at the vary byootiful twinkly lites and lissend to the FL yell like a steevadoor. I dunno whut a steevadoor is, but that's whut Mr TF calls it win she yells like that.
Win I ferst got to Bullevard Pet Hospitul, my frend Mark took me down the hall to do that thing to my booty. Boy howdy, "that thing" was espeshully ice kold today. Heer we are, rushing down the hall:
Bak in the waiting room, I wint to see the lizzerds cuz my speshul frend Daisy luvs lizzerds:
Heer is the table ware the man in the bloo kote puts all the payshunts hoo didn't make it. Theeze are skellytuns and it isn't even Halloween anymore. I hope he kyoors me and I don't end up on the wayting room table.
Bullevard Pet Hospitul has good reeding mateeriul. It's importunt to have a v-e-t with good reeding mateeriul.
Yep, we're all just sitting thare wayting. I wunted to give Mr TF's face a good lik, but he likes privasy win I do that. Cuz it's kinda a purrsunul thing between me and Mr TF.
The FL was wayting, too. In the middle, yoo can see the door that goze bak to the torcher chamber:
And thare are a millyun fotos of the inside of my carrier. I'll just show yoo the ferst one, becuz they kinda all look alike:
Unforchewnitly, I took so many pikchers of the inside of my carrier that my cat cam ranned owt of film. So I coodn't show yoo the ixzaminayshun room ware they remodeled it so one wall is all pikchers of ME!
The man in the bloo shirt came in and torcherd my eyes and a nice gerl named Crystal holded me down. I thot he was gonna do that thing like they did in Slumdog Millionaire to make me blind so I cood beg frum peeple for munneys at the BART stayshun cuz owr famly needs the munneys, but he just kept putting diffrint colors of drops in and looked at my teeths and up my noze and sed the 2 werds cats evryware dred heering: TEETHS KLEENING.
Forchewnitly, sinse it was late on a Friday and the man in the bloo kote probly wunted to have a happy howr, the teeths kleening was put off until a littul later. But he gave me medisins wich he promist wood kyoor me so that I cood poze for a Krissmiss card this yeer.
Boy, I shur hope he's rite! If he duz kyoor me, Krissmiss will be saved!!!
Hey, if yoo'd like a cat cam of yer vary own, we're giving away a Cat Cam over at The Cat's Meow.
Thursday, December 03, 2009
I was Cuddly today
I cuddled a lot with the FL today becuz she makes me feel better win I do that. I'm still sneezing and they call me Sneezix. My big bruther Mao is sik, too, and he blames it all on me fur getting my snots all over him.
Tuesday, December 01, 2009
Worst Day of My Life!!!!!
I'm still kinda sik, so I sleeped a lot today. The FL let me ware my hot pink manly corderoy kote inside so that I wood stay warm. I was so wiped out, I didn't even kleen the poop offa my ear.
The werst thing EVER happend win I waked up frum my nap. MY CAT CAM WAS GONE!!!!! I looked evryware for it. I thot it mite have fallen off but it wuzn't in any nooks or krannies. It wasn't even in thoze scary spots ware the dust bunnies live. It just vanisht into thin air!!!
I CAN'T BEELEEVE IT!!!! My promissing career as a fotograffer is over before it even began. This is even werse than gitting disqwalifide frum the Nashunul Spellin Bee.
I am verklempt.
Cat Cam, Day Two
This is my food mat. I sit on it win I wunt to be fed. I spend a lot of time on this food mat, wich I can prove becuz I have 18 pikchers that look just like this.
Do yoo know whut's rong with this pikcher?
Yoo can see the food mat. Yoo shood be seeing a big heeping plate of Fansy Feest on top of the food mat.
I was sitting thare, all lonely and starving, waiting for the foods that never came. Well, they came evenchully, but it took almost 20 minits. I was reddy to pass owt!
Monday, November 30, 2009
I've got a cat cam!
Things have bin a littul slow lately trying to git clients as a bolin' coach, so I think I'm gonna follow in the footsteps of the FL and be a fotograffer win I'm not coachin' bolers.
So, I got a Cat Cam, which is a camra made fur cats to take pikchers with. Like Cooper the Catumentarian does, and Mr Lee, too. The camras werk for cats like me hoo wern't born with oppozubul thums.
I took a squillion fotos, but most of them were of the litter box, and the rest were kinda blurry, but heer's one taken frum our balkony. I go thare and look down into the frunt yard on my patrols. The FL thinks I have a lot of potenshul.
Unforchewnitly, I had to cut my foto sesshun off erly cuz I got a cold. If yoo'll remember, Mr TF took off my speshul Thanksgiving swetter wich forst me to run arownd nekkid wich made me git a kold. Sinse I'm sher yoo don't wunt to look at snotty fotos, I'll wate till I'm better to take more shots.
Friday, November 27, 2009
Thanksgivin Day
We had a good Thanksgiving. I wared my turkey swetter and chekt owt all the fixins, inklooding the pumkin pie.
Mr Tasty Face reely loved my turkey swetter. He tride to ware it, but he coodn't git it over his hed. So he wared it as a stylish hat. This ment I had to walk arownd nekkid until the FL fownd anuther kyoot owtfit for me to ware. 
And after dinner was over, we reeded Marney's Thanksgiving Letter, wich makes the FL snork.
I hope evrybuddy got lots of turkey!!!
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Happy Turkey Day!!!!
I am vary thankful for the following things:
- Tripper hasn't eetin me, yet.
- Mr Tasty Face's face is still vary tasty
- TURKEY TURKEY TURKEY!
- My speshul frend Daisy is the most talunted and byootiful cat in the werld even if she has a littul nip problim.
- My big bruther Mao is the bestest big bruther in the werld.
- Rocky is still arownd.
- I have the best job in the werld.
- Jeter Harris made my dreem come troo this yeer by taking me to skool and letting me help teech a klass!
- The FL stays home all day just so she can pet me and tell me what a good cat I am. And feed me Fansy Feest winever I wunt it.
- I also git to spend Thanksgiving with Sarge Charlie and Antie Bee and Flat Jete.
As yoo can planely see, it is a good Thanksgiving fur us this yeer. I hope all of yoo have lots to be thankful for, too!
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Belated Condolinses
I am vary behind on my blogging cuz the FL, hoo usually helps me, is bizzy taking care of my grammy hoo wares her bathrobe all day long and has tubes hanging owt of her body. I don't go by her cuz she's scary.
So it has taken me longer than usual to rite these rememberances of two of my favorite cats hoo wint the the bridge reesintly: Bathsheba and Jade.
Bathsheba (and the dear, departed Jake) were two of my ferst frends frum the interwebs. Win we herd Bathsheba had gone to the bridge, our faces leeked and leeked and leeked. She got krabilated a lot (like my big bruther Mao), but she was still luvable (like my big bruther Mao).
Jade (one of Cammie's Kitties) made a surprize trip to the Bridge reesintly. We only knew Jade fur about a year, but still, in a yeer's time you can love sumcat like Jade A LOT!
We have been thinking abowt 'Sheba's mom and Jade's mom a lot, and hope they can feel owr cumferting purrs and purrayers that we're sending their way.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
My Ferst Clients
I think my new career choice as a boling coach is destind to be fenominally suksessful. Heer is my ferst groop of clients. Sum of them don't have pink balls, but it's hard to git them to remember all my importunt boling tips at once. However, nobuddy had any trubble rememberin to drink lots of Muther's Milk wile we plade.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Freaky Friday
It's cold so I made Rocky share the heeety pad with me. Rocky is a rugged indivijooalist hoo's not much into cuddling with mancats like me. But cuddle we did, and it was nice.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Boling Tips
Sinse the FL is unemployed, I thot it wood be good for me to hire out as a bolin' coach. I boled at a Eukanuba/Iams fundraiser win I was in Ohio, and we won over 4000 bags of pet food to give to an animul shelter. My frends at Iams and Eukanuba do stuff like that all the time.
If I was a bolin coach, heer is a sample of whut I wood coach yoo on:
- Pink balls are the best. If the pawholes are a littul tite, just work up a big wad of spit and hork it into the three holes on the bowling ball.Then yoo shood be able to moove yer fingers in and out eezily.
- If you dress like a winner, yoo'll win evry time. Looks matter.
- Start werking out. Sinse I werk out all the time and have good mussuls, it's easy fur me to throw the ball down the lane.
- Resist the instinkt to run after yer pink ball.
- Be a good sport. Maybe the winner will buy a round of drinks.
- Get thare early if yoo wunt to skore sum bowling shoes. I was a littul late, and win I got thare they ded they didn't have any cat-sized shoes for me. Wich is too bad cuz them shoes have intristin' smells.
Friday, November 13, 2009
FSA: Switch Ears
I never knowed that I was suppost to switch ears okayshunully to avoid fatigue. Maybey that's why I need so many naps. Have any of yoo ever switched ears? I tugged and tugged at mine, but I coodn't get them off.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
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